Averages

Things average out over time, so I suppose we're due for some colder weather over a majority of these United States pretty soon. I sure hope so. One thing the unseasonably warm weather has brought me (again) are moles. I have to say these animals are (next to squirrels and deer) one of my least favorite air breathers. Portions of my yard now look like an exploded minefield. Heavy rains and warm temperatures have brought lots of worms to the surface, and right behind them come the moles. My quest to end their worthless lives as fast as possible starts with mashing down their winding trails to find the active borrows, then insertion of mole poison to hopefully win my seemingly endless war against their invasion. I remember when we were stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, our neighborhood was held hostage by the critters, and the sound of gas lawn mowers cutting grass during the summer was over shadowed by curses shouted as mower blades "cut dirt mounds" instead of grass. We tried every remedy we could think of to get rid of the moles…nothing worked for long. So, here I sit in January, waiting for the ground to freeze to give me temporary relief from my enemy. Averages, help me out!